January 2000

Esprit Nueva Canada

Age: 2 years
Weight: 34 lbs.
Height: 3 feet
Accomplices: Mrs. Potato Head

Spring 2000

Update: Esprit Moves North

In a surprising turn of events, notorious criminal Esprit Canada has abandoned her hideout in the Carolina mountains, hitched a ride on a bicycle, and surfaced in a major urban center in the Northeast.

Witnesses reported seeing Canada in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, where she was spotted conspiring with suspicious persons in the vicinity of South Street.

Police identified Canada's conspirators as members of a North Carolina student group visiting Philadelphia.

"We're not sure who is corrupting whom," Police Chief Roy Smith said.  "Canada is a hardened criminal--there's no doubt about that--but this gang from Carolina is no scout troop."  Smith said Canada and her new gang had been spotted hanging around the Rodin Museum, the Please Touch Museum, the Balch Institute for Ethnic Studies, and the Reading Terminal Market.  He would not say whether officers were close to apprehending their suspect.


 

Summer 2000

Update: Esprit Heads Up Band of Outlaws

America's worst fears have come true.

Esprit Canada--who coolly escaped conviction for theft back in December 1998 then thumbed her nose at police by committing a dollnapping in broad daylight in July 1999--has formed a gang.

An amateur photographer captured the notorious criminal's new accomplices--and brash new attitude--in the picture shown at the right.  Canada seems now to be daring authorities to catch her.  At the same time, she clearly has won the admiration of Jordan Corcimiglia and Catherine Ivey, as well as the heart of Heydon Ward.
 

Esprit Nueva Canada

Age: 2 1/2 years
Accomplices: Jordan Corcimiglia, Catherine Ivey, Heydon Ward

Fall 2000

Esprit Nueva Canada

Alias: Essie
Age: 2 1/2 years

Update: Captured!

Laurinburg, NC: Esprit Canada, wanted in two states for petty theft and dollnapping, has been arrested.

After a nationwide toddler-hunt failed, authorities had all but given up on locating the elusive Canada, who had disappeared in the Carolina mountains a year ago, resurfaced in Philadelphia in May, then formed a gang over the summer.

Then, in October, the North Carolina State Highway Patrol pulled over a dragon on a routine fire-breathing violation and hit the jackpot.

"We knew that Canada had been known to use Harry, the Harris-Teeter Supermarket dragon, as a getaway vehicle, but we thought she was still in hiding," one officer explained.  "I was shocked when I found her in the driver's seat."

Canada is being detained in a moonwalk.

"Some people are complaining that we are pampering the prisoner," the sheriff explained, "but we can't take a chance that she will escape.  We know this suspect.  She could escape an ordinary cell in a heartbeat, but she will never leave a moonwalk.  Never."