Mark Russell dazzles GPAC

By Todd Luck
Assistant Web Editor

Political comedian Mark Russell blew into GPAC on Sept. 15. He spared no one in the headlines. Democrats and Republicans, Oxendines and Locklears alike were turned into punch lines.

Russell, 72, used the same combination of stand-up and satirical piano songs found in his PBS specials. His melodies included “Clean Out Your Mouth, Dick Cheney” and “How Do You Solve the Problem Called Teresa?” about Teresa Heinz Kerry.

Russell’s jokes covered every topic imaginable from Iraq, which we liberated from “Saddam and electricity” to outsourcing which is so widespread that you can “dial 911 and get a woman in India.”

Most jokes were met with uproarious laughter from the 600-member audience. One of the biggest laughs came from an opening joke about The Pine Needle.

“All the issues we discuss here tonight, ladies and gentleman; local, national, and international, all of them, I got out of the current issue of The Pine Needle,” Russell said. “I read it from cover to cover and it was the most riveting minute and a half of my whole life.”

He then launched into a mock UNCP fight song lampooning the school’s lack of a football team and the local prevalence of the Locklear and Oxendine names. The song was inspired by articles published in The Pine Needle.

And strangest thing is, I may have had something to do with that.

I went to Russell’s Lumberton Holiday Inn hotel room earlier that day to interview the political satirist. Russell greeted me at the door wearing khakis and a plaid shirt, a departure from the three-piece suit he performs in.

I sat down on a couch behind a small coffee table. Russell sat in front of me with his leg propped on the table. He was relaxed, professional and funny.

I asked Russell how his career began. He started as a piano player but said he wasn’t good enough at it. So he played less and talked more. Since he was in D.C., politics was his topic. Out of this, his act evolved.

Russell’s first good gig was across from Capital Hill in a bar congressmen frequented.

“It’s a parking lot now. I may have

had something to do with that,” he said.

After three years there, his act moved to an upscale hotel he stayed at for awhile. He knew he made it when he left the hotel to start touring. He discovered he could now make more in one night than he had made there in a month.

Russell says his act hasn’t changed much over the years. He says he may have “pulled some punches” without realizing it back in D.C. during the McCarthy era.

“I’m braver now because all the mortgages are paid, the tuitions are paid,” he said.

I asked Russell if he gets much recognition in public. He said it’s a “slow trickle” in airports. He’ll see a couple looking over at him, whispering, and then the man will come up and ask, “You’re Mark Russell?” After Russell answers, he’ll say ‘Hey, Edith, you lose.”

“We’re not talking major crowd control here,” he added.

Russell was open about his likes and dislikes. He dislikes pandering politicians and admires straight talkers like John McCain.

Russell is “a print guy” who hates news networks and reads newspapers. He also watches Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show.”

Russell also has some quirks. The first thing he looks for when he arrives in a town is a good Japanese restaurant (at the time of the interview he hadn’t found one here).

He also has a fetish for polishing random items made of silver. Oh, and you may ask how all this resulted in The Pine Needle jokes.

Well, before the interview began I presented Russell with the current issue of The Pine Needle never dreaming it would be material for his act. So there you have it. That’s how I gave Mark Russell the most riveting minute and a half of his life.